September 11, 2009
FACEBOOK.
Like so much of today’s social media, anyone can write anything. Without regard for who’s reading it, without regard for good taste, without regard for anything at all but a desire to spew one’s otherwise private thoughts onto their own Facebook wall. In fact it doesn’t end there. Facebook users can also write on friends walls. Again, anything they choose to say. And it is not at all a private conversation, but is instead a very public forum. Some times that writing on walls can be the very real equivalent of graffiti. Unwanted, unfathomable, and frequently immature. Sometimes, it turns out, Facebook friends are just plain thoughtless.
Today is September 11th. My Facebook friends were, by and large–like most Americans–considerate, contemplative, empathetic. Not everyone felt the need to address the 8th anniversary of the attacks on New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania. As odd as I find that, because what could be more present on one’s mind today, it is after all an individual choice. However, one posting has stuck with me all day and not in a good way. When I woke up this morning, already dreading the rush of memories I was sure I’d face throughout the day, I checked the computer and this is what I saw :
“My condolences to those who lost friends and family that day, but I don’t believe refusing to wallow and obsess over 9/11 is the same as forgetting it. And, let’s face it, the more we fuss about it, the more of a success it was for the terrorists.”
Wallow. Fuss about it.
I started today sick to my stomach.
If we remember, if we mourn, if we honor all those that were affected that horrible day, we are somehow helping the terrorists?
First of all, in the spirit of losing the battle but winning the war, let’s be honest. On that day, as unsuspecting and innocent Americans were frightened and injured and killed, the terrorists did win. There’s no way around that. From the moment the first plane hit the North Tower until the heroic passengers on Flight 93 brought their plane down in a field in Pennsylvania, the terorists were winning. In the hours that followed, the days, weeks and months…they won. They won when we all watched the skies in fear of probably–but maybe not–innocuos airplanes, when we closed our windows to keep out whatever toxic dust was in the air, when we went searching hospitals and internet sites for missing loved ones, when we attended funerals for the dead. The terrorists won when we were forced to go to war and lost our sons and daughters. Yes, it’s true, the terrorists had won. They won by stealing our innocence, our friends and family, our city. But, later – today, there is reason to believe that they are no longer winning. We are more cautious, but that’s a good thing. We are safer and thats a good thing.
The more we fuss about it…I ask you this, if your loved one is killed during a bank robbery or killed by a drunk driver, does anyone say that mourning their loss is allowing the bad guys to win? Does anyone feel that grieving, mourning, remembering and honoring is allowing the criminals in society to win? I don’t believe that. And I don’t believe that giving 9/11 its due is helping terrorism . If anything, it makes us, as a country, more resolved than ever to never ever let this happen again.
What I Wrote on Facebook Today:
Anyone who has EVER lost a loved one can understand the impact an anniversary such as 9/11 will have on everyone who lost someone that day. AND everyone who knew someone injured, or trapped, or who escaped with their lives but not before being forever scarred emotionally. AND everyone who stood and watched the Towers fall, or felt the terror that gripped NYC, or watched it unfold on tv. Today can’t be ignored.
Not fancy…but from the heart…
About This Anniversary:
The hard part about anniversaries – and trying to not let them get to the core of you – is that they have this nasty reality of being the same time of year…every year. So you wake up and the sky’s the same color as THAT DAY, or the temperature, or the kids are out playing because it’s summer, or it’s just past the 4th of July…whatever. Think 9/11 – who doesn’t remember the temperature, the clear sky, the lack of humidity…and who doesn’t pray for something different every year just to make the anniversary less painful.
It rained today. Turns out it didn’t matter. It’s still painful.
